Comfort: A Journey Through Grief by Ann Hood

Ann's Words


"Slowly, slowly, I began to tell my own story of loss and grief and hope. You know how that first day at the beach when the ocean water is still so cold, you dip your toes in, then run out? Next try, you get up to your ankles before you run? Then up to your calves, your thighs, until finally you are waist deep and you can dive in head first? That is how I wrote COMFORT. I wrote a little, then retreated. A little more, a little more, until I was able to dive in. "

"I did not know what to do with her Christmas stocking, the one with the angel on it and her name sewn in my crooked attempt to use a needle and thread. I did not know how to celebrate a New Year without her. And on the first anniversary of her death...."
"...My Body cannot move. I am paralysed."
... " I used to wake in a panic that I had forgotten even one detail about her, or that I would forget someday."

My Thoughts

These words above that I have quoted from Ann Hood's book or her website...I have felt them all too ever since my baby died.
I must give proper thanks to Steve Colca of W.W. Norton & Company, Inc....who offered to send me this book after I added him on Twitter. He very sweetly asked me first if this would be a welcome gesture and after I assured him that it was he sent me this book and The Knitting Circle.
Most of my blogging buddies on here know that I myself have been on a grief journey. My son Nicholas (15) died just over 2 years ago on October 30th, 2006. Ever since that day...my heart has stopped beating. Ann's book took me down that road again...she took me back to the anguish and fear and shock that I felt that day. Her book broke my heart again but it also felt cathartic to cry as I relived my own last moments with Nick.
She manages to describe almost exactly the way that I felt about losing my Nicky when she speaks about losing her Grace.
She describes in minute detail all the platitudes that people say to you as a newly bereaved mother. "She/he has gone to a better place." (Are you kidding me?)
"God must have wanted them" (Not as much as I did!)
"I understand what you must be feeling." (Unless you have lost a child lady...no you don't!) and she also speaks about the weirdness that people feel around you. I myself have experienced people ducking behind stores, displays and bushes just to avoid speaking with me. Do they really think that we don't notice?
I have also felt people's impatience with me when I can't get out of bed sometimes to go into work because I am having a really bad day about missing him and I don't want to go on anymore. They are also impatient with me because they are tired of 'being reminded of my tragedy!" I work with a woman like that.
I am never sure how to deal with people like that but as my husband reminds me...that is their problem not mine. I have enough on my plate already.
Thank you Ann Hood for writing this book about your loss. I know that you wrote it just for me...didn't you? It feels like it anyway!

Tamara

The Lost City Of Z by David Grann

ABOUT THIS BOOK

A grand mystery reaching back centuries. A sensational disappearance that made headlines around the world. A quest for truth that leads to death, madness or disappearance for those who seek to solve it. The Lost City of Z is a blockbuster adventure narrative about what lies beneath the impenetrable jungle canopy of the Amazon.

My Thoughts

This is not a fictionalized account of Percy Fawcett's adventures in the Amazon basin. This strives to recount quite accurately the information that Fawcett recorded about his explorations. It is mixed with the stories of a couple of other explorers that also attempted to find the lost city of El Dorado...and David Grann who tried to follow the footsteps exactly that Percy had travelled while searching for his mythical city of Z. It is unsure about why he even called it Z but he seems to have become obsessed with the idea of it and it had assumed an almost nirvana-like mysticism in his dreams.

This was a time in history when technology hadn't caught up with the dreams and needs of the adventurers in the jungle and when people went exploring they often disappeared for months and sometimes years...with no way of contacting those in the civilized world. Some never returned to their loved ones and the assumption was that they had perished in the 'green hell' that had taken over their lives. Hostile natives, disease or being the prey of carnivorous hunters was most probably the fate of all who disappeared but these mysteries just seemed to fuel the enthusiasm for hundreds of men and they all hoped to be the one to crack the mystery of The Lost City Of Z.

I was intrigued in spite of myself ( I have always enjoyed a good adventure story) and quickly read through this book although it was a little dry and I needed to read it over several nights. It required thinking about as I was reading unlike a piece of fiction. The account also felt disjointed through parts of the book and I grew to wish that David Grann had just written about Fawcett and not muddied the waters by introducing some other explorers. After all, David Grann was interested in following Mr. Fawcett's footsteps...no one else's.

I did enjoy the story and was thrilled to read the last chapter. It brought the quest for the lost city of Z to a satisfactory conclusion. This book has been sold and is presently in production for a 2010 release starring Brad Pitt as Colonel Percy Fawcett.

Through the Storm by Lynne Spears

Synopsis
We all want our children to succeed. What happens when they do?
Britney Spears wanted to sing ever since she was a little girl. But the years of sacrifices, auditions, performances, albums, fame, and paparazzi left the little Louisiana family swept up and spun around, and nothing turned out the way anyone ever imagined or wanted. Now Lynne shares the inside story of the Spears family as only a mother can.
Through the Storm takes readers outside the narrow orbit of the Hollywood glitterati. Lynne shares how fame forever changed their family; her regrets letting managers, agents, and record companies direct the lives of her children; the challenges that shaped Lynne and Jamie's failed marriage and how they affected Bryan, Britney, and Jamie Lynn; the startling events that led to Britney's breakdown; the aftermath of Jamie Lynn's pregnancy; and how the family has tried pulling together to recapture a sense of hope and purpose.
Through the Storm, says Lynne, is "the story of one simple Southern woman whose family got caught in a tornado called fame, and who is still trying to sort through the debris scattered all over her life in the aftermath. It's who I am, warts and all, with some true confessions that took a long time to get up the nerve to discuss."

My Thoughts

I acquired this book through Thomas Nelson Book Review.
Through the Storm is Lynne Spears' account of her children's early years. Two of her daughters- Britney and Jamie Lynn have great celebrity now so Lynne Spears' book is very timely.
The book reads quite candidly and follows Lynne's life throughout her early marriage, financial hardship, divorce and the raising of her children. It does NOT trash her daughters nor does it get into every single detail that has been written about them in the tabloids although it does often refer to how her girls are popular subjects for the paparazzi.
Lynne's book has an easy reading style and I finished it in less than a day. I wouldn't say that it went into very much depth but I didn't expect it to. I was also sure that this memoir would do nothing to tarnish the image of her daughters...after all...they are her daughters and their livelihood depends upon a somewhat pristine public persona.
Lynne did speak some about Britney's emotional illness and her concern for her daughter rang true but she glossed over some details as she did while discussing Jamie Lynn's pregnancy and the ensuing publicity furor.
A pleasant read but with little depth.