Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Shame on you Canadians for jumping all over Christie Blatchford for her recent column about the semi-hysterical attitude that has become the public's reaction to Jack Layton's death. I am speaking as an average Canadian who did not vote for the NDPs in the last election. Maybe..... to be so consumed with public grief...I would need to have been one of his supporters.
Christie...Thank you very much for voicing in a thoughtful and balanced voice....the distaste that you felt and I am feeling over the crocodile tears expressed by many members of this nation. We didn't all vote for him....so why is the grief so out of proportion? Why are people grieving as they would for a close friend or family member? Likely... because he sat in many of our living rooms as he debated and courted us through the last election....I watched him.
Not all of us feel more than a fleeting sorrow over the death of a man who seemed very vital....in his personal and professional life....he was driven. My perspective on this whole affair has not been to lament loudly and publically but to speak quietly with my daughter and husband about feeling regret for another family who has to pick up the pieces of their life and rearrange and puzzle out a new "normal' for themselves. This is hard. I know this because we lost our child almost 5 years ago and are still seeking peace..
There is no question that Jack Layton captured and fired up his supporters with his vim and vigor and yes...his ambition to put the National Democratic Party as near to the top of Canadian Politics as he could. He accomplished what no other NDP leader had ever done. Against all odds...he made the NDP the official Opposition. That earns my admiration and incredulity but I personally did not know him. I believe that many Canadians were still swept up in his enthusiasm and vitality from the election and now they are so very shocked that this seemingly hale and hearty man should be struck down so quickly. It happens in the best of families.
None of us want to think that we could deteriorate so fast and die. I was frankly shocked at his appearance in late July and his frailty but if I had thought about it ...more than in passing...I was probably sure that he would defeat the cancer as he did before. That was just one short month ago.
I do believe though Ms. Blatchford ...that your timing sucked. If you had waited a week or two or a month or more....the reception to your viewpoint might not have been so harsh. No... I don't believe that either. When anyone dies....nobody wants to ever say anything bad or critical of them...even if it is the truth. It almost feels like tempting fate....like bad luck.
I also do not buy into everything that John Moore says here.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Just a catch up notice....November 4th, 2010....my ICD fired with no warning. Feeling like I was kicked in the chest...my first thought.....I was electrocuted??? How? Why? Then it hit me....no....it was the defibrillator! In total shock...instead of calling 911...I attempted to reach my husband by phone at work and it took them over 15 minutes to find him hiding away in a front office.
He came rushing home and got there about 30 minutes later....so far so good....I was sitting in a chair...frightened to move. We decided to make our way to Joseph Brant hospital...a block away...and he helped me get dressed as I was too scared to do it on my own. Walking gingerly down the hall after I was dressed....the unit fired again. I screamed.
Without another incident we arrived at the emergency department at the hospital and checked in. They took me in very quickly and after taking all my vitals...hooked me up to a heart monitor as well. There wasn't anybody at the hospital familiar with ICDs so they put in a call to the defibrillator clinic at Toronto General.
Long story short...the unit fired again while I was there but not hooked up to the monitor....(in the bathroom) The on-call guy from St. Jude's....came...deactivated my defibrillator...determined that the ventricle lead had pulled out and was recording my T-wave as another heart beat??? At least the defibrillator was working properly!..Small consolation....but after 5 days in hospital I returned home after 2nd lead implantation and another 6 weeks off work and to keep my arm from any great exertion.
Everything is fine at 8 week checkup and a new appointment is made for July 5th (btw...Madeleine's birthday)
Fast forward 6 months and we arrive at the defibrillator clinic at Toronto General and hear the news that they are unable to detect the ICD properly and both wires have pulled out and the insulation has been damaged too.
Guess what>>>>they have to reimplant 2 new leads!
As I am sure that you can imagine....I am ecstatic to hear this... and the surgery is set for August 29th, 2011.
This feels like a roller coaster but as of my last checkup...we are still wired to go.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Friends and Visitors,
I just wanted to pop in and leave a note for all. I am currently off work due to the implantation of an ICD. (Implantable Cardioverter-Defibrillator) I am recuperating at home as I am not allowed to lift or move my left arm strenuously and my current posting for work has me lifting,changing and almost rolling around on the floor with the kids in the class. I love it.
I am still always reading but I am also pretty involved in my jewelry design and am enjoying my anvil at home.
We are about 4 days away from the anniversary of my son Nick's death. Although we feel that we will never recover from this...we are feeling peaceful right now and for me...the feeling of dread is remarkably absent this year. So far.
Please whisper a little prayer on October 30th for us to get through that day successfully.